I fell in love again with this poem this just-past Earth Day. Look at how it shows the love between women and men.
Father Earth
There is a two-million year old man
No one knows.
They cut into his rivers
Peeled wide pieces of hide
From his legs
Left scorch marks
On his buttocks.
He did not cry out.
No matter what they did, he held firm.
Now he raises his stabbed hands
and whispers that we can heal him yet.
We begin the bandages,
The rolls of gauze,
The unguents, the gut,
The needle, the grafts.
We slowly, carefully turn his body
Face up,
And under him,
His lifelong lover, the old woman,
Is perfect and unmarked
He has laid upon
His two-million year old woman
All this time, protecting her
With his old back, his old scarred back.
And the soil beneath her
Is black with her tears.Clarissa Pinkola Estes
A secret about men Clarissa knows is this: Men value honor and respect and are worthy of it. The men of old were doing something they were proud of, in service. This is the unspoken and spoken truth of stories of the men of old - the men of myths, of Homer, the epics. It’s true today that men and boys want to serve the community and do great things.
Courageous service and action in service to the feminine is at the center of the masculine nature. For a lot of reasons this truth has been buried in the politically correct but humanly incorrect narrative around patriarchy.
The loving connection between women and men is now in the social shadow. It’s not polite to mention it.
I have decades experience in men’s groups and circles. One thing I’ve noticed is this: Men seldom have honest and deep pride in themselves and their worth. They’re tarnished by the negative social view of men as the less virtuous, and not-very-good sex. They try and keep their head up and do the best they can but, being human beings, they are pulled to align with the prevailing social view of men as morally second class. Men’s groups often are trying to fix men who feel broken while secretly believing that they are broken. Men’s societies are often a place to lick wounds, to feel not-too-bad about feeling crazily isolated and alone.
A counterintuitive truth: Men don’t need to be fixed. They need to be connected. This means to go and stand with the men.
If they hear the poem Father Earth they can be astounded if not dumbfounded. They may never have heard a positive note about men in their lives.
Women are caught in their own way in this dynamic, of course. The positive view of our own sex, whatever it is, depends upon how clearly we’re able to see the love and respect between the two. I know some readers don’t agree there are two sexes but I’ll leave that for now.
Here’s a simple truth that I’m lining up with. Men don’t need to be fixed. They need to be connected, first with other men. This means to stand with the men, to see and agree that they are like them.
We don’t need to be fixed. We need to be connected. Connected to other men and a sense of masculine purpose and agency.
Lots more to be said about this. I hope that men will be here to hear and I hope that women will also. The future of love and connection, resisting the social pressures pulling us apart, depends upon us claiming a foundational strength as men and as women. First separately and then perhaps together.
I started with a poem and will end with one I wrote last night.
Stand with the men.
When it’s time to stand with the men,
alignment starts to happen by itself and
no one needs to be fixed.The gold is us together.
The ripple reaches into the world
and touches men we don’t know.
It reaches into the past and
the men of old start to stir in their sleep.
The women are happy again and
the young men glad.
When those boys stand with the men,,
they see a future bigger than themselves and
they long to step up.
Dear Reader,
I’m excited to be writing about men’s issues again and bringing it to the forefront. I welcome your interest and support. At present, I suspect that most of my readers are women and few of the men are very familiar with male-positive thinking.
I haven’t been writing about this so much, even though it’s important to me, because I thought the social urgency of the hour meant I needed to speak up about coming social totalitarian social control. I do think this is the business plan of those who would control.
I’m not proud of it but I also thought that no one would listen talking about men.
Recently my eyes have been opened to how much is here for me personally in this area of thinking and writing about men - boys, and men and women. I hope you’ll like, comment and share with anyone who might resonate.
I also do family constellation work and coaching support in person and online so feel free to connect replying directly to this email.
Andrew
Hello Andrew
I know you to be a good man. A man of principle. Men and women can learn from you. 'Strength to your sword arm and honey in your heart.'
Below is a poem that points to the answer for men, women and those that were born in a different way. The answer, as it has been for eternity, lies within.
What others think, say or do to us is experienced, responded or reacted to, maybe ignored - each according to our inner wisdom.
LOST AND FOUND
Lost:
Amid the myriad faces of impossibility
Within the thicket of my thoughts,
Drowning in a sea of certainty
And imprisoned by mesmerising memories.
Lost:
In the blindness of beliefs
The opiate of opinions,
Jaundiced by judgements
And self-absorbed by knowledge …
Found:
On seeing into The Realm of Possibility
A priori to all the good, bad and indifferent,
Experiencing the liberation of not knowing
And creating a kinder way of living.
Found:
On awakening to Possibility
Freed from my accumulation,
Now Aware of the miraculous
And nurturing peace on Earth …
I like the idea of connection, but I’m not convinced it has to be same sex then maybe across sexes. We need to connect with all to be able to deal with our future perils, of which I see social control as pretty low down in the totem pole compared to things like climate change, AI, nuclear war, and the loss of democracy.