Notes to Myself

Once upon a time, there was a book called Notes to Myself, by Hugh Prather. I wanted to leave the memory intact from my youth, ungoogled. But I just looked it up because I at least had to give you the date - 1970. And I saw that the subtitle was My Struggle to Become a Person; I’d forgotten that but it captures the memory perfectly. I liked it not it was about how the world is, but how one ordinary man interacted with it, his attempts to live consciously. I was interested in that and I liked his voice and his honesty.

I do an “intuitive writing dyad” often in the mornings with Global Dyad Meditation. It’s a 40-minute meditation followed by15 minutes of writing, and a 12-minute sharing with your dyad partner. I notice that my writing there is more fun and certainly eaiser to write than the serious stuff. What about sharing it here, I thought. Would it help me get more current with my day, more current with readers? Will it serve taking myself less seriously? I don’t know but I’m curious to experiment with this.

Here's today's:

I noticed this thing Franklin called “the bright.” It has many names and none. The energy is carefree. It's enough. Nothing needs to be added to it or taken away. I don’t have to hold onto it. I can create stories and dramas of belonging and not belonging or I can not. It’s not as if I have to figure something out, as if I have to secure it, take it to the bank. It's already in the bank that cannot fail. But fail-schmail. Descriptions are just play, poetry, sport, not solid and stuck. Reality is indescribable, and yet there are so many ways to delight in it.

I have a confession to make, that I often say no and am angry at the world for not giving me what I want, for not having welcomed me once upon a time. I have a hidden no and yes, a hidden yes. That yes requires some humility on my part, some laughter, some silence. This thing, this brightness, this happy energy, it doesn't have a mark on it. It's more fun to write about than all the serious stuff, but we are in a serious predicament, are we not? Yes, everything is going to go, I think. And only the thing will remain, the truth. But it's all we want.
—
Thanks for being here.

Best,
Andrew