Where do I put my attention?
The intention is to put my focus on my meditation, on the highest, on the sense of I AM. It’s not to get entranced with the the urgent concepts and the thoughts that are coming up. It’s to let them be in the background.
The reality is, though, that I have other agendas going on.
One hidden agenda piece is that I want people to like and approve of me. Without noticing, I perform in order to appear in the best light to them. Related to that, I imagine that I can be helpful by putting attention on what’s happening in the world, the dramatic day to day events in the news, the American election, censorship by social media platforms, the dissolution of UK society, the quickly changing landscapes of Canada. I want to be abreast of all that and saying something about it. I’m invested and involved in that.
On the other hand, I meditate. I read spiritual stuff. I listen to talks when I'm doing the dishes. I often take part in dyad meditation (a waking up process with others). Teachers that I have learned from and my own experience say that the priority needs to be on consciousness, on the divine, on God and the unchanging reality behind phenomeon. I resonate with that. I feel it’s the all important thing.
But a part of me wants to draw attention to the seriousness of what's going on out there. It feels like “all hands on deck” time and I want to be on deck too, present for that.
Today I noticed that with my attention on the conscious space, on Presence, whatever needs to happen in the world with all the difficult stuff will happen already.
Whatever the body-mind needs to do will happen by itself without my help. It in no way needs my attention and concern to be improved. I don't need to look good. I don't need to imagine I can control or manipulate others so that they have a positive sense of me. They have the dignity of their own way and their own judgments. I agree with them.
Everything will happen by itself. People will love me or not and it’s not even my business. People will respond to what I write or not. It will be useful or not. It’s simply something that happens, like I scratch the back of my head when it needs scratching. The fall leaves will fall when it’s time and not a moment sooner or later.
Things will be said and done when they’re ready. The writing will be what it will be, by itself. What happens in the world in this tumultuous time will be what happens in the world. In the meantime I can stay present and unconcerned. Concern is your concession to unconsciousness, someone said and I agree. Concern is busybodiedness. Waking up is about waking myself up. That’s where to put my attention.
Concern is your concession to unconsciousness, someone said and I agree. Concern is busybodiedness. Waking up is about waking myself up. That’s where to put my attention.
Now you're taking my language.
Hi Andrew, I agree, and there is a big 'But' hovering there in my mind - that driven sense of feeling like I have to 'do' something, even if it is just worry, is almost inescapable. What you wrote reminds me of Brother Lawrence's book - 'Practising the Presence of God', so it is a good reminder, that the 'work', if it can be called that, is to just be present, to my own self, and sense of being. And that does take some focus, or Focusing, or Presencing, because it is not a common thing to do in our Western world, at least.